


Sometimes Gracie Has PTSD

by ERamos9696



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-27 19:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12087822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERamos9696/pseuds/ERamos9696
Summary: Gracie went through a lot when she was a child.  She grew up to have her fathers' smarts and determination.  As the leader of the Governor's Special Task Force, she must learn to not only take on the criminal element of Hawaii, but also the demons in her head.





	Sometimes Gracie Has PTSD

**Author's Note:**

  * For [happy29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy29/gifts).



 

Sometimes Gracie has PTSD

 

     Steve had decided to drop lunch off personally. It had been a while since he had seen the office, his office, and he wanted to see what modern technological changes had been made. His trip down memory lane had been cut short when he heard whimpering, then hysterical crying, coming from the corner of the room. He recognized the cries immediately and dropped the food to the floor. It was Grace. As he came closer, he feared that he might see a pool of blood near her but the floor was dry. He approached her carefully.

     “Gracie?” He stepped closer. “Baby?”

     Grace looked up, a bit startled to hear his voice, but once realizing it was Steve, she let her body fall over and she curled up into a fetal position.

     Not knowing what was the matter yet, he tried harder to assess the situation.  After a second or two, he knew exactly what this was. 

     Sometimes Gracie has PTSD.

     He let his body slide down the wall next to her. He pulled her closer to him. She was heaving now just trying to catch her breath. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, to let her know that he was there.

     “Make it stop, Daddy.”

     Steve’s first thought was to pull out his phone and call Danny to tell him that Grace was calling for him but remembered, he was _Daddy_. “I’m right here, Baby. Do you hear me? I’m right here.”

     Grace nodded into Steve’s now tear soaked t-shirt and found her breathing stabilizing.

     “Here, Baby Girl. Here.”

     An hour later, they both sat in her office, as she explained what had brought on this episode. It really hadn’t mattered what the reason was, what mattered was that he was there.

     He had managed to salvage some of the forgotten food on the floor. Knowing that they were going to need more than a few edible scraps, they agreed to go to the restaurant.

     “Let me tell him. Please, Dad.”

     Steve reached for his daughter’s hand and made their way to the elevator. Of course he would respect her wishes.

 

2 Months Later

 

     Sometimes Gracie has PTSD.

     She was in the storage shed.

     It was cold.

     She yelled for Danno for hours and cried until there was nothing left.

     She had fallen asleep to be startled by her father’s panicked yells.

     She saw her father’s face first, then Steve’s and she knew she was safe.

     Rescued.

     The chirping coming from her phone could wake the dead. How the man sleeping next to her didn’t hear it reminded her how much she envied his ability to sleep through hurricanes.

     She was drenched in sweat so she decided she might as well go for her run. An hour later she came through the back door of her house to find Will reading his papers at the kitchen table. She passed him and grabbed the vitamin water that he held up for her. This was more than a routine. This was a natural thing. After her shower and the finishing touches of strapping her back-up piece to her ankle, she joined Will, still at the kitchen table.  He was reading papers submitted to him from his wanna be chefs.  Will had grown into a fabulous chef but even a better teacher at the local community college.   This time she greeted him with a kiss to suck the air out of him.

     “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

     “Party pooper!” She took a piece of buttered toast from his plate. “What, no pancakes?”

     “You have breakfast plans with the Fathers.” Will loved calling Steve and Danny that.

     She took a quick glance at the clock on the stove. “Have fun teaching the Gordon Ramseys of tomorrow!” She started for the door.

     “Always do. Love you!”

     Grace looked back to make sure that she and Will made eye contact. “Love you.”

 

     The restaurant doesn’t have a breakfast menu unless Grace is there. It’s the same argument she hears at every breakfast she has with them.

     “We should open earlier. It would be great for business.” Steve was at the stove preparing their eggs with Danny at his side making the pancakes.

     “First, business is great. We don’t need anymore business. Second-”

     Grace always loved the second reason.

     “We spend almost every waking minute here.”

     “There are not enough minutes during the day to be by your side.”

     Danny would always act like it was the first time he heard Steve say it. Then the kiss and Grace having to pretend to be disgusted and roll her eyes. “I’m going to lose my appetite.”

     By the time they were sitting at their favorite table, the one where the family pictures were hung all over the booth, the public display of affection had come to anything but a stop.

     “I just wish you would wait a few more weeks.”  Danny’s plea did not fall on deaf ears. Danno worried for her and she knew that.

     She looked down at her empty plate wishing she had saved her last piece of pancake to distract her now.  With some courage and given respect she reasoned with, “Both you and Daddy came to the appointment with me. I’m ready.”

     Steve let Danny move more into his side. “She’s going to be late, Danno.”

     Grace used that as her opportunity to slide out of the booth.

     Danny, not admitting defeat, but still showing concern ordered, “Make sure you wear your vest.”

     “Always.” She kissed both men goodbye and knew that breakfast would be the most difficult part of her day.

     Before she hit the door, Danno yelled out, “Come back after work, for dinner, bring Will.”

     “Maybe she has plans with Will.”

     Before she could say yes, Danny turned to Steve and snapped, “Will is a good husband. He’ll understand.”

     Steve seemed to take some offense to this statement. “Are you saying I’m not a good husband?”

     Danny grabbed the dishes from the table and carried them towards the kitchen with Steve behind him. “I never said that. Did I say that? Why are you always hearing things that I don’t say?”

 

     She met her new members for the recently reformed 5-0 team. She had already done the research necessary. Before she had picked each one to be in this unit, she had told them that they had big shoes to fill but she knew that they were up for the challenge. As each member went into their offices to set-up what little personal items they had brought with them, she went to her own office to be greeted with the phone ringing. _Dad_ , she thought.  No.  It was the governor calling.

     She knew the governor had nothing but confidence in her. He had gotten all of the clearances from every doctor and knew that Grace was the only person qualified to lead this special unit. She had served proudly overseas with an anti-terrorist division and had even come home with accommodations from several world leaders. At 30 she had seen more action on the field than an HPD officer would see in their lifetime.

     Grace ended the call and made the announcement, “We’ve got a case, gear up!”

     Later she would call her husband to call her dads that they wouldn’t make dinner that night.

 

     Sometimes Gracie has PTSD.

     She had dozed off in her therapist's waiting room. She had been remembering things that the medication could not erase from her memory.

     Her Danno and Uncle Steve, he was Uncle Steve back then, were in the living room watching TV. She had come home on break before her finals and found studying on the beach to be the best place to memorize the tactical armor of the 18th century. When she walked into the house to get more water, she heard Danno yelling at Steve.

     “We need to find her!”

     Steve was trying to calm Danny with, “We’ll call Chin.”

     She watched the reflection of the news report on the mirror on the side of the living room. Her Auntie Kono had been presumed dead during her investigation of a child slavery-ring in Texas.

     “We’re not leaving her there.’’ Danno stepped closer to the television.

     Steve was on the phone and noticed Grace peering from the corner of the room.  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” Steve said to get Danny’s attention that Grace was there.

     Danny walked over to her with his eyes beginning to water. “Kono-” but before he could explain, Grace cut in.

     “Something has happened to Auntie Kono and you two are going to rescue her.”

     Steve was saying something on the phone, agreeing to what was being said by the other person.

     Danny was wondering if Grace had secretly earned her degree years earlier and just came home to study them.

     Steve ended the call and walked over to them while the conversation had paused. “Wheels up in one hour. Chin will meet us in Texas. He’s leaving Frisco now. He’ll do some recon until we get there.”

     Grace looked at both men knowing the severity of the situation. “I’m going to stay here and try to get some work done.” She wasn’t sure if she was in denial or if she was trying to convince them that she knew they’d be alright.

     Danny hugged her hard enough to break her. He looked over to Steve, “Pick me up at my house. I need to tell Charlie what’s going on. We’ll leave from there.” He kissed Grace on the cheek. “I’ll see you at the graduation. I love you, Monkey.”

     “You better! I love you too, Danno.” Danny ran out of the house as Steve made his way upstairs to gather some things and to call Nahele not to worry him.  He knew though that Grace would probably be on the phone with him before the night ended so they could reassure each other that everything would be fine.  They had grown close over the years and it was missions like these that they had come to depend on each other for support.

     She was alone in the living room, but not for long.

     Steve snapped her out of her trance with, “I love you.”

     “I know you will make sure you all come home.”

     “Of course.”

     “Promise.”

     “I do.”

     “No, say it. You’ve never broken a promise to me. Promise.”

     Steve listened to his instinct and pulled her into a hug. “Promise.”

     “I love you Uncle Steve, you know that right?”

     “Of course.”

     “Go.” She backed out of the hug holding back tears.

     He kissed her gently on the forehead and he was gone.

     That night she came home to a worried Charlie who ran to her at the door. She walked him to the kitchen table and told him stories of the crazy missions their father and their Uncle Steve had gone on before. Her last story was of when Uncle Steve had been poisoned by the dirty bomb.

     “When did they tell all these stories?”  Charlie sounded jealous in the question.

     “They would never tell me or you the amount of danger they have been in.” She got up to put their glasses into the sink. "We actually study the cases of the Hawaii Five-0 Unit in school."

     “Do they know that?”

     “Of course not. Get some sleep. We’ll pick up Nahele tomorrow and have lunch at Steve’s.  His fridge is filled with food.”  She walked into her bedroom and tried not to cry into her pillow.  

     The nightmares started with her dancing at that winter formal.  

     Then the screaming.

     Her father missing.

     Regretting her behavior that night.

     Knowing that her father would save her but then he was on the floor next to her.

     She was happy he was there, but who would save them now?

     Then the shots rang out.  So many shots.  So loud.

     “Grace.  Has anyone seen Grace Williams?”

 

     “Grace.”  Grace opened her eyes to see her therapist standing over her.

     “Hey Doc.”

     “Long night?”

     “We got our guy.”

     “Great, I’d love to hear all about it, and then you can tell me about the nightmare you just had.”

     Grace wasn’t surprised her therapist knew her so well.  It wasn’t the first time Grace had fallen asleep in the waiting room.  They had been working together for months.  She had worked with Grace to see that the nightmares, or memories depending on the night, served a purpose.

     After her session Grace returned to the Palace.  She told everyone that she wanted their reports on her desk before the end of the day which had everyone responding with a moan.  She loved being the boss.  Her reports were done and had been forwarded to the Governor.  She waited for her laptop to load and glanced over to the photo of her graduation.  She was standing between Steve and Danno. She remembered it was Charlie who took the picture and that was the reason why he was not in the photo.  Nahele and her mother had been off to the side but for some reason this photo, out of all the photos taken that day, was the most important one to her.

     She had had nightmares that entire week.  She was waking up screaming every morning.  The nightmares of the winter formal had different endings.  Steve dead.  Danno dead.  Her friends dead.  By the fifth night, she made Will stay over to get through the night.  She hadn’t heard from them which made matters worse.  She had given up any hope of them making the graduation but that was secondary. She was more worried about them.

     She was standing in the line as they called out the graduating scholars’ names.  Her row was up and waiting.  She turned to acknowledge her family, waving quickly to Will. Then something caught her eye.  Nahele was not waving to her but trying to get her attention to look over at the east side of the ceremony.

     There they were looking proud and exhausted and trying to hold each other up.  She knew that they both must have come straight from the airstrip. She wanted to jump out of the line and run to them but she knew that would cause too much attention.  And then she didn’t care.

     She pushed her way to the front of the line, gave her name card to the announcer, rushed up to shake the chancellor’s hand and took her empty degree sleeve out of his hand, she smiled for the camera and then jumped off the stage bypassing all the other hands to shake.  The concern that came over both men’s faces would make her laugh when she would retell the story years later.  She ran to the gate and let her father lift her over it.  He didn’t want to let go.  And so she was hugging them both crying with joy into their chests.  She let go of Danno to put her arms around Steve and thank him a million times over for keeping his promise of which he responded, _Always_.  Now all three were in tears.  When she finally had it in her to step back she noticed the bruises on their faces and she was sure her father had a bullet hole in his pants at the thigh.  It didn’t matter though.

     That night she spoke to her Auntie Kono and Uncle Chin via Skype.  He would be staying in Texas for a while to help Adam with Kono’s recovery.  It would be years later that they would learn the injuries she had sustained were career ending.

     Grace was exhausted and told Charlie and Nahele to hit the parties without her.  She would be spending the night at Uncle Steve’s to hear what happened during the rescue.  She had clothes in the guest room closet.  When they said their goodnights, it wasn’t the couch that her father stumbled to.  Instead, she watched as Steve took Danno’s hand and held it as they both went up the stairs and closed the bedroom door behind them.

     She skipped to her room wanting to jump out of her own skin with excitement over what she had just witnessed.  She wanted to call everyone especially to tell Will that dreams do come true, but she let herself fall onto the bed with a thousand questions in her head.

 

      Grace was holding the picture in her hand.  She remembered as happy as she was, she still had the nightmare of the Winter Formal some ten years earlier.  She was alone on the dance floor-

       “Hey Boss?”

        Grace set the frame back in its place.  “Done?”

        “Yup.”  Anderson was smart enough to recognize the informality in his response and changed his answer to, “Yes, ma’am.”

        “Go tell our team we are going to the best Italian restaurant in Hawaii, on me.”

         Anderson left her office to inform the group.  Going to _Steve’s_ would be a nice way to end the day.

         When they arrived at the restaurant, Danny and Steve were waiting by the entrance to greet their little girl.  Grace gave all the introductions and then joined Will who had been waiting for her at their table.  She promised her fathers all the details when the others had gone home.

         Danny and Steve were persistent though and got all the information about the day’s case by interrogating each of the team’s members as they sat and ate meatballs and pounds of lasagna.  When the last of the unit said their goodbyes, she apologized once more for not making it to dinner the previous night.

         “We understand, Gracie.”  Steve kissed his daughter goodnight.

         “He might understand.  Me?  I don’t understand.”

         “I’m sorry, Danno.”  She was eleven again.

         Danno hugged both her and Will goodnight and the _I love yous_ were exchanged.  

         Danny entered the back office where he found Steve shutting down everything that glowed.  “So, here’s my plan.”

         Steve stopped what he was doing.  “Oh boy.  This should be good.  Does it involve locking her in the basement.”

         “No, no.  Don’t be ridiculous.  Of course not.  We don’t have a basement, but it has crossed my mind.”  Danny stepped into Steve’s personal space allowing them to naturally fit together.  “I told each member of her team that they were welcomed to come back to the bar and drinks were on us any time after a case.  Have you ever seen a cop turn down free booze?”

         “Husband, you are a genius.”

         “This I know.”

         Steve kicked the office door shut and lifted his husband onto their desk.  Steve started to work his tongue at the base of Danny’s neck.

         “Oh, this I know too.  You’re an animal.”

 

         Sometimes Gracie has PTSD.

         Grace walked into her office and unloaded her tactical bag onto her desk.  Finally her phone fell out with the last of the contents.  It had a broken screen.

          _Again?_  At this point she was breaking more phones than shooting bullets.  “Somebody get me a new phone!  Please!”

         She made her way downstairs to the unisex locker room created for her team.  She took this time to wash off the blood spatter on her face and change into her favorite t-shirt with NAVY silk-screened across her chest.  She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and took a moment to look at herself in the mirror.   _No broken bones, everyone on her team was okay, one dead suspect; good day._

When she got back into her office, she took the SIM card out of her broken phone and put it into the new one Anderson had placed on her desk.  Before she could sit down, her phone started with all the alerts of missed messages and texts; there were 59 in all but before she finished reading the fourth one, she was running out of her office and towards the stairs.

         “Everything okay, Boss?”

         She didn’t hear Anderson.  

 

         She was pulling up to Tripler with her lights flashing.  Her father had not answered the phone the seventeen times she had called him.  Nahele and Charlie had proven to be just as useless.

         She found Charlie and Nahele standing outside of Steve’s room in the ICCU.  Charlie stepped forward to assure her everything was fine.

         “What do you mean, he’s all right?  He’s in the fucking ICCU!”

         Nahele stepped between them.  He was still the big brother and had to play his role.  “Dad’s in there with him now.  The doctor’s said they couldn’t save the kidney but he’ll be okay with one.”

         Grace processed his words.  They knew for years now that there would be long term effects from the radiation poisoning.  She paused to see both her brothers were just as worried as she was.  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”  

         Charlie rubbed her back in acceptance of her apology.

         “When can you see him?”

         “The doctors are in there now.  Dad will get us.”

         They sat in the chairs across from the room and watched as doctors, nurses, machines, and more nurses came in and out of the room.  Finally the face she recognized was filled with concern.  Danno stepped into the hallway.

         “Danno!”  Grace was the first to hug her father.

         He walked his children into the waiting room where they would find more privacy.  He dragged a chair over to the others so all four of them could face each other.

         “He’s going to need surgery.  They are going to take him in an hour.”  He could see his children tensing up.  “After they do what they gotta do, there will be a couple of weeks of therapy here and then he should be able to come home and get back to his old-self.”

         Grace didn’t know how to react.  Her nerves were frayed from the case she had just closed and then the waiting to hear about her dad had just about done her in.

         “Go home,” Danno suggested.

         “Are you going home, Danno?”  Charlie knew the answer before he asked the question.

         “No, son.”

         “Then neither are we.”

         Danno finally succumbed to the fears he had been hiding and started crying.  All his children were up from their chairs and holding their father.

         Will came an hour later with fresh coffee and clothes for everyone.  The waiting room had been turned into the McGarrett-Williams living room as chairs and tables had been moved around so they could sleep in shifts.  Grace’s turn had finally come up and she used her husband's thigh as a pillow.

 

         Sometimes Gracie has PTSD.

         Her father had been shot before her eyes.  “Danno!” she yelled and ran to his side.  She did not know why the man with the gun had come into their Aloha Girls campsite.

         She was now digging her way to the light.  She felt the earth was pouring on top of her, but she kept digging.  

         Her father was hugging her after she opened the door from the outside.

 

         She awoke to the smell of coffee under nose.  

         “Hey, Monkey.”

         She took the coffee from Danno’s hand.  “How is he?”

         “Doc said he came out of it without a hitch.”

         She hugged her father in relief.

         “You okay?”

         Grace nodded.

         “The boys went to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast.  They thought it was better to let you get some sleep.  You had a rough night.”

         “I’m okay.”

         Danno wasn’t buying it.

         “The Aloha Camp Girls memory.”

         Danno bit into his lower lip with his memory.  “I know I’ve told you this Gracie, I’m sorry you went through so much as a kid.”

         Grace put her coffee down and took her father’s hands into her own.  “Danno, everything I went through made me who I am today.  Those memories are reminders that at the end of it all, I’ll be okay.  We are fighters, Dad.  We all are.”

         “Williams-McGarrett?”  

         Both of them corrected the nurse with, “McGarrett-Williams.”

         "He’s in recovery now.  He’ll be there for some time but if you want you can come in and see him now.”

         The smile Danno gave was enough to let Grace breathe again.  “Go see Daddy.  I’ll tell the boys.”

         Danno kissed his daughter and then followed the nurse to the elevator.

         Grace texted her husband that she was on her way to the cafeteria with good news.  As she walked into a different elevator, Will texted her a picture of pancakes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my fanfic. I hope you have a moment to enjoy "A Day in the Life". Happy29 and I started that piece in June and we haven't slowed down. It is a daily exchange of texts in the life of McDanno. We have been overwhelmed with the amount of feedback we have received and it is by far the best writing exercise I have participated in.


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